The lost monastery.

I like to give myself a drawing challenge. I have a weekend to draw as much as I can from a story. The rub is that all the characters I draw die at the end of the weekend. That means that I can never redraw them or revisit their world. Once the weekend is over I can no longer think about them. Why? Honestly it gives me this relief and freedom. I don't have to care about these characters and stress over them like I do the characters from Storm of the World. Its just fun for me. I am not trying to make anything epic, I am just making a world and at the end of the weekend the world is destroyed. 

I have done this twice now. Click here to see the first world back in February of 2016.

Here is the second world. Titled The Lost Monastery. 

A potion merchant comes across a being dying in the marsh. The unknown creature had come from the under earth to try and stop a great calamity. The merchant tries to help the creature, before it dies it whispers to the traveler 3 words. The merchant is on his way to a remote monastery to gather a rare herb he had heard about. The monastery is the only place know to harvest the rare plant. It grows on the side of a oddly shaped mountain. 

Unbeknownst to the merchant the creature was killed by one of the monks. This monk is a junkie who gets high off the rare plant. He did not know the intent of the creature, he was high at the time and thought the creature was a nightmare. Its not until the traveler reaches the monastery that the junkie realizes that it was not a nightmare and he really did kill the creature. In order to hide what he did and still not in the right mind, he kills the  potion merchant.

The merchant was starting to piece together the 3 words that the creature had whispered to him. Sitting in the monastery's vast library he came across a book that foretold the coming calamity. The oddly shaped mountain long ago was struck by a falling star. A slumbering calamity was about to wake and the rare plant was the key to its undoing. 

The doubt and fear that lead to loss.

I was always afraid of what I would lose or I would get hurt. When asked to go out and try something new, I would hesitate and form reasons not to go. I was scared. 

After losing the life that I was so afraid to lose, I realized that was the very reason that I lost it. 

Seems like an obvious observation now. 

When faced with those decisions now, I still feel those trepidation’s, but damn if I am going to let my fear ruin my life again. 

 Instead of worrying about money, possible injury, crowds of people, long-distance car rides, here’s to the trampoline gym, that my youngest wanted to go to today.  Instead of worrying about money, hangover effects, lack of sleep, disappointing or hurting others feelings, here’s to bar in downtown Boise that we went to 30 mins before last call. 

Here’s to the life that I won’t be missing. 

"The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain." - Leonard, Big Bang Theory

The 25th of January

The 26th of January

 

The 27th of January 

Not sure I am in the best mental state. I had some dental work done and it really effected my mood. Like I suddenly hate all of humanity and wouldn't mind destroying most of it so I won't have to deal with my daily stuff.

I was rewatching the Daredevil Netflix series to try and get my mind off the pain and I was thinking was the Kingpin really that wrong. His methods were not morally right, but they were effective. If the end goal was a utopia, then was it worth the steps he had to take to circumvent the crumbling establishment?  If you compared his actions to a military take over, then by comparison his blood shed was way lower. In fact the US kills more people "defending" Mideastern countries. Not sure he was that much different than current politicians and leaders. In fact I would argue he was better at it.

Minus of course the fact that he is fictional and this train of thought is pointless. And my mouth still hurts.

Wise man say: "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza." -Michaelangelo TMNT

The 22nd of January

The 23rd of January

The 24th of January

This weekend was difficult. I saw a friend of mine stand up in front of his family and friends and give a Eulogy that truly was from the heart. The strength it took to stay composed, and to speak directly to us, was monumental. It was impressive and heart breaking at the same time. Not only that but what he said about regret and missing the small chances to be with someone, and putting off that trip you want to take together, really hit home. I think I told my wife I loved her 7 times before bed that night.

I also had a chance to drink and dine with friends that I rarely see. I see in them the mannerisms and interests that shaped my teenage years.

I want to say it here, since I didn't get to say it last night, but my friend, lets call him Pablo. Palbo I may share video games and other "nerdy" interests with the others, but for me I see in us the same heart. The same compassion. The same deep feelings for others. Thanks for still being my friend.

My other friend, lets call him Enrico, I want to tell you that even though I gave you a hard time, I hear myself ask the same questions you do. I see the same need for understanding, and the same desire to know how other people see the world. You stay true to yourself, Enrico. Thanks for still being my friend.

For my friend, lets call him Roberto. You showed strength in the face of enormous tragedy. I hope that if I am ever faced with such a thing, that I show half the strength and composure you showed. Thanks for still being my friend.

For my other friends from high school. I am grateful for you all. You are a big part of who I am today. The way I interact with people my age I learned from you. The way I form friendships and bonds I learned from you. The way I see the world and others I learned from you. Thank you for being my friends.

"F&SF regularly supplies the finest the field has to offer in the way of short fiction" -Cliffton Fadiman. Found on the back of my new/old magazine.

The 17th of January

The weekend was long but never dragged. There were no hidden mysteries or lost tunnels leading to adventure. There were some made up in my head.

I did find a cool bookstore hidden away inside a building full of shops. I picked up a magazine from March 1976 called Fantasy and Science Fiction it has stories from Richard Cowper, Gordon Eklund and Isaac Asimov. I also picked up a magazine from January 1967 called Analog with a story by Poul Anderson called SuperNova.

The bookstore was called "The Old Sage Bookshop" 

The smell, how amazing is the smell of old books?

The 18th of January
Something tragic happened to a friend of mine. 

Every moment should be cherished. Don't let the people in your life be ignored, remember to show them kindness.

Love.

The 19th of January

Trying to focus in on the characters from the previous posts. This may or may not be the lead female who really needs a name. Or the spellcaster might change gender roles.

The 20th of January

I am not sure who this character is yet. She decided to pop into my head today. Something about the amulet around her neck is special. She fell .... from somewhere. Was she a space traveler who fell to a planet whose society has only reached a medieval stage?  Why is the amulet important? Is it alive? Is it part of a star? Does it slightly tug at the wearer as if it was guiding her back to that star? Is it evil?

"Under the sky we ran towards the heavens, but the night crept up behind us." - Whatever her name is, unknown adventuring story yet to be written.

The 15th of January

 The 16th of January

This weekend I will be traveling and hopefully finding a small part of an adventure or at least filling my mind with more possible adventures.

The drawing was an attempt to flesh out the design of the characters from a few days back. They still need clothing. Need more time!

“May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks.” ― Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

The 9th of January

The 10th of January

Yesterday when I was drawing I drew little thumbnail figures of possible new heroes. One of the thumbnails (top right) is an adventuring party.

I started with a woman reclining, she is the character that drew the party together. She has a hidden motive for finding a cursed treasure, but mostly her reason for adventuring is to stay the boredom she feels with the civilized world.

The large gentleman in the back is looking for a family to belong to. Ostracized as a child he goes out of his way to accommodate others. His great strength and size is both an attribute and a burden.

The "hero" on the left is a twin sword wandering fighter. He likes proving he is better than others, but knows deep down he is merely average. What he lacks in mastery of swords he makes up for in agility and seeing things that go unnoticed.

The other two characters are a mystery to the party. One is a grass runner that would rather hide than fight. He knows the wilderness well, and can open doors without the key that locked them.

The one kneeling next to the woman is a spell caster. His spells are channeled through a magical artifact. In this world magic can be learned by anyone, but can only be performed through use of a magical artifact. Some are dangerous and have nasty side effects. Some are more sinister and the side effect is not immediately realized. The spell caster carries the latter, unaware of the horrible demon growing inside his soul.

"Yes. I was prepared the very moment that I let my arrow fly." - Ashitaka, Princess Mononoke

The 7th of January

The 8th of January

Another day of adventure. Or if you rather another day of life. There does seem to be a significant  difference between adventure and everyday life, in so much that my everyday life does not have enough adventure. I walked 3 miles in the pouring rain, my mind created many possible adventures.

As I looked on towards the grey clouds and mountains in the distance I thought about a mighty wind racing down the slope and into the valley. The trees would bend and sway as the wind forced itself through. Only I could feel the true power of the wind as I listened to its story. It was warning of a mighty beast caged in the mountain below, its bonds breaking as it was nearly free. The wind was calling for adventurers to stop this mighty terror.  Alas the only real adventure I faced was; doing my best not to sink in the deep mud on the stretch of mile that had no sidewalk and avoid being hit by a car in a busy intersection.

There was also no forest spirits (or in my case desert spirits) walking along side me. There was no chance sighting of a mighty forest god as I carried an injured solider back to his camp. So yesterday's drawings were focused on Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke.

Hopefully your day has more adventure than everyday life in it.

"Energy blasts, huh? Here's one from a pro! " -Cyclops X-men Animated Series

The 5th of January

The 6th of January
So its a new year and like many people I know I am going to try and add more to my blog on a regular basis.

As you may have not noticed, I have been slowly learning how to draw over the last 6 years. I am proud of the progress I have made, however still very disappointed at the level I am currently at.

Most of my better drawings are accidents, as to say I sat down to draw one thing and after many mistakes another image appears. Cyclops was not what I wanted to draw when I sat down, but after being frustrated with myself I went through my inspiration folder and found a picture of the Mutant Leader and the rest is above. ( And a very poor attempt at a person throwing and holding a ball of some kind.)  And while my intent is to draw more of a gritty comic book style, my art always seem to take on a Saturday morning cartoon feel. Not sure if that is subconscious or just lack of skill.

I would have been very happy to have spent more time with him, but like most, time is the enemy and there is never enough of it. Or the mind is the enemy and the ability to focus and stay on task is an elusive adversary that I can not defeat. Either way there are a lot of enemies.

Well enough of an insight to the way my mind thinks. Here is to a New Year and the dreams that have not come true.

Dragonfall
StormDragon
The Oncoming Dragon
The approaching Dragon

Titan

Titans of Imagination and Possibilites.

For a moment in my life, for a moment in the history of me, I was a titan.

Deadened to the passage of time

Tonight dawns the moment of all truth. Can't find the stopping power to join the evil side of my mind. It seems like this may be the whole way out it seems like this may be the best plan of attack it seems this maybe the stopping point. Why can't I get this going why can't I stop my self from hurting the ones that I love why can't I keep going. This driving me nuts I know that there i more here I know that I can solve this. Its not a Sherlock problem its a solution that I know is within my mind. It is within my time to keep going it is within the power to stop. Here now lies the adventure I have set out. it is for the hero to take his path. It is for the hero to show his true might. It is for the hero to keep his goals. Bam Bam. the fist flies in sync. The concussion is felt through to the back of my skull. Why punch back. Its not like its going to matter. He is going to continue to take his advantage. I do not have the strength of will to defend. I can and will take this. Why. because she loves me that's why. Its not like we continue to fight for the same reasons. we always come up with new ones. Deadened to the passage of time. I can no longer see why this became the way it became. Nor did my brother think of it. Why didn't he catch it. Isn't that what he is for. If I miss something he is supposed to catch it. Not this time. I was alone and nothing was more real. Even in this fiction, even in this novel in my mind. This was real. It was due or die time. It was the release that I needed and I finally had it. Why after all this time did it come to me now. Why is it that these things always come at the time you do not want them to. I was finally good, I figured out reality. I had no more time for fiction. I had no need for that adventure. I had this. Yet this was the time that it decided to embark me. Stupid. Stupid.I can't go. I have no choice. I can't go. I have no choice.


Pain power darkness these are what matter. Love honor and light have no place in my mind, no place in my heart. Time is up.

The heaviness in my eyes.

It never helped that through all the pain I just kept writing. I thought maybe if I got it all down I would finally have an outlet for my pain. it was just a lie it never felt better it never changed.These times are so bad that I can't even think about dreaming for a better time I just keep concentrating on the worst aspects of my life the pain that I never can forgive the memories that haunt me from break until dawn. Why why is this they way I am living why can't I change until nothing but the pain leaves why can't I find the way back to the things I want most. Why do I stop I should keep moving on like nothing can get in my way I should keep running until the everything melts away I should join the fight stop the war. In nothing do I find solice in nothing do I find peace. The world knows my pain and it won't take it away. This sucks so much that I can't even think about it. I am tired but the heaviness of my eyes won't forgive me. The heaviness in my eyes won't let me fall asleep.